Why Becoming a Mother is More Than Just a Physical Transformation

Motherhood is an incredible journey, full of joys and challenges. For me, it was a natural goal that I had been working towards for many years. I believed that becoming a mother would complete me and make me feel fulfilled.

After five years of trying to conceive, I finally became pregnant and gave birth to my first child, Emily. However, I never knew that the journey to motherhood would be so difficult. I had to endure pregnancy losses and infertility before finally becoming pregnant with Emily.

During my pregnancy, I struggled with morning sickness, and my birth was managed entirely by the obstetrician with medical intervention, despite there being no medical indications. When Emily was born, I was overwhelmed with love and excitement, but I was unable to hold her immediately due to the medical interventions I had undergone during birth. This significantly delayed the early bonding process between me and my baby.

I never knew that motherhood would be so challenging, but I also never knew how much love and joy it would bring me. It has been an incredible journey, and I am so grateful to be a mother.

When I finally held my daughter Emily for the first time, I was filled with a sense of achievement, success, pride, and worthiness. I felt like a 'complete' woman, and my goal of motherhood had been achieved.

I never knew that my journey to motherhood would be such a psychological shift and transformation. Emily's birth completed my goal of becoming a woman and fulfilled my biological need as a female. But it also helped me transcend into a new era that I had never experienced before. I immediately felt a greater sense of purpose, meaning, and responsibility in life. My focus shifted from myself to my child, and I knew that my time and space no longer belonged solely to me. I was now responsible for Emily's well-being and safety, and I was willing to put her needs before my own.

Becoming a mother has been a transformative journey, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically as well, filled with love, joy, and challenges. It has changed me in ways I never knew possible.

If you're ready to start your journey toward healing and well-being with our 1:1 Coaching package,

Book your sessions by clicking here.

I never knew that from that moment on, I was no longer just a woman in my own right but now permanently and irrevocably her mother. From that moment on, I was willing to be a humble vessel for Emily, and I felt that this transformation was like a death of sorts, where the old parts of me shed off to reveal a brand-new entity within.

I discovered parts of myself that I never knew existed- my compassionate, patient, loving, giving, sacrificing, and nurturing side. I understood my mother in a whole new light and realized the depth of her love and sacrifices for me.

I also realized that being a mother was not easy, and my desire to be a perfect mother was unconsciously raised with the belief that 'when she shines, I shine.' I took on the responsibility of creating and constructing her life and projected my needs onto her in alignment with cultural expectations. I also took on the duty of ensuring her happiness and success and planned her entire childhood to meet certain standards of success as defined by our culture.

This obsession with being a perfect mother caused me great emotional pain and the loss of my mental freedom. I carried this subconscious motherhood for over two decades until I recently learned about Conscious Parenting. I realized that this inability to detach could morph into unhealthy enmeshment. Like a line from the movie Hustlers says, "Motherhood is a mental illness."

Becoming a mother is a transformative experience that changes a woman in ways she never knew possible. However, it also comes with a lot of emotional and psychological challenges. After years of carrying the weight of societal and cultural expectations, I finally understood that being a perfect mother was causing me more harm than good.

This realization led me to question my own desires and motivations for becoming a mother. I began to shatter the cultural archetypes of happiness and success and realized that my role as a mother is not to create happiness or success within my child. Instead, my role is to love and support her as she grows and finds her own path in life.

This realization helped me to set my daughter free and, in turn, set myself free too. I let go of toxic co-dependency and began to experience mental and emotional freedom. I started to find joy and contentment in every aspect of my life, and I am able to be my authentic self as Emily's mother.

Being a mother is not always easy, but it can be one of the most rewarding experiences of a woman's life. And when we let go of societal expectations and allow ourselves to be our authentic selves, we find true joy and contentment in the role.